A majority of both faculty and students at the Faculty of Mathematics and Natural Sciences at Oslo University wants gender equality. Both at the workplace and in their private life. But since they also assume that academia is a meritocracy, the faculty's gender imbalance is seen as a result of women's and men's different choices. Above all, the vertical gender balance, with more men at higher levels and in leadership positions, is explained by the fact that women choose children and families over an academic career. Our data, both the quantitative and the qualitative material, do not support the explanation that women deliberately opt out of an academic career to be present parents. Instead, they show that more women than men have not fulfilled their career ambitions. On the other hand, we can see that the conditions for combining work and family are different for women and men.