We analyze quantum-geometric bounds on optical weights in topological phases with pairs of bands hosting nontrivial Euler class, a multigap invariant characterizing non-Abelian band topology. We show how the bounds constrain the combined optical weights of the Euler bands at different dopings and further restrict the size of the adjacent band gaps. In this process, we also consider the associated interband contributions to dc conductivities in the flat-band limit. We physically validate these results by recasting the bound in terms of transition rates associated with the optical absorption of light, and demonstrate how the Euler connections and curvatures can be determined through the use of momentum and frequency-resolved optical measurements, allowing for a direct measurement of this multiband invariant. Additionally, we prove that the bound holds beyond the degenerate limit of Euler bands, resulting in nodal topology captured by the patch Euler class. In this context, we deduce optical manifestations of Euler topology within k·p models, which include quantized optical conductivity, and third-order jerk photoconductivities. We showcase our findings with numerical validation in lattice-regularized models that benchmark effective theories for real materials and are realizable in metamaterials and optical lattices.